Something to ponder about Incarnation

"It is neither idle nor fantastic, I believe , to imagine Iluvatar (Tolkien's version of God) entering Arda (Earth) in the form of a Hobbit.
The average Jew of Jesus' day was perhaps little if any larger than Tolkien's Hobbits. Yet it is the size of their souls rather than their bodies that matters. For it is from such hobbit-souls that the Kingdom of God is truly made--whether we are considering the Lord and Saviour who enfleshes the triune God, or whether we are numbering his lowliest disciples. Elrond the Elflord saw this truth from the beginning, when he not only appointed the members of the Fellowship, but also explained the astonishing nature of their mission: 'This quest may be attempted by the weak with as much hope as the strong. Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while eyes of the great are elsewhere.'

In the world of Middle-earth, the Consummation of All Things occurs neither with the fall of Mordor nor the coronation of Aragorn, but with the coming incarnation of Iluvatar. The One who orders the life of Ea and Arda, I have argued, may well take the form of a hobbit--just as God's own incarnation occurred in humble Jewish servant.
For only in such divine lowliness can Arda be unmarred. In our own world, the Kingdom still arrives through this strange strength to be found in self-surrender."

Source: The Gospel According to Tolkien, Dr. Ralph C. Wood,

Glory as Brightness, Splendour, Luminosity

This brings me to the other sense of glory--glory as brightness, splendour, luminosity. We are to shine as the sun, we are to be given the Morning Star. I think I begin to see what it means. In one way, of course, God has given us the Morning Star already: you can go and enjoy the gift on many fine mornings if you get up early enough. What more, you may ask, do we want? Ah, but we want so much more--something the books on aesthetics take little notice of. But the poets and the mythologies know all about it. We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words--to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it. That is why we have peopled air and earth and water with gods and goddesses amd nymphs and elves--that, though, we cannot, yet these projections can enjoy in themsleves that beauty, grace, and power of which Nature is the image. That is why the poets tell us such lovely falsehoods. They talk as if the west wind could really sweep into a human soul; but it can't. They tell us that "beauty born of murmuring sound" will pass into a human face; but it won't.
Or not yet.
For if we take the imagery of the Scripture seriously, if we believe that God will one day give us the Morning Star amd cause us to put on the splendour of the sun, then we may surmise that both the ancient myths and the modern poetry, so false as history, may be very near the truth as prophecy. At present, we are on the outside of the world, the wrong side of the door. We discern the freshness and purity of morning, but they do not make us fresh and pure. We cannot mingle with the splendours we see. But all the leaves of the New Testament are rustling with the rumour that it will not always be so.
Some day, God willing, we shall get in.

--from "The Weight of Glory" C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis

We saw The Chronicles of Narnia over Christmas and I then read through the whole series. I had no idea how profound these books are. I was given as a gift from my husband a book of wisdom for Christmas--daily readings of C.S. Lewis.
What follows is the reading for December 31st--I re-read this one many times. Now I want to share it...

See next entry above.

Wisdom, Courage and Grace

It's been months and months since I have posted.
In three days I am facing major surgery--a full hysterctomy. I have been through a roller coaster of emotions these past weeks leading up to this. One moment I am nervous and excited to have it finally over with and maybe I'll feel better--the next moment I am scared out of my mind. I have been told that this is normal.

I am 50--and that is a profound age for me. It is the same age as my hero Frodo faced his life changing event. And of course I look to him for an example of strength. His emotions were up and down. He had the support of a dear friend as do I in my husband and family and friends. I have even been dealing with the idea that I might die. Not sure why or where this is coming from other than this is the most serious surgery I have ever had. And yet I have several friends who have had the same surgery and they are very much alive. But times like these one can't help but ponder about the Undying Lands....
It's all a part of this journey and lesson.


Wisdom--my hero certainly had plenty of that. Courage--I'll argue with anyone who says that Frodo Baggins was a coward. And Grace. Grace--he is the pure symbol of that.
My mantra are those three words and the example of a hero who went through hell and back; pain and grief and fear but he came through it and to his reward.

Wisdom, Courage and Grace.
Amen

Love

The previous entry --the lyrics to The Rose--speaks about the facets of love. This song has always moved me and I really cannot explain why--it just resounds in my soul as if I 'know' it on a deeper, untapped level.
It reminded me too of the most important lesson I have learned in life about love. This is a personal thing so bear with me.

Once I found myself falling in love with someone other than my husband. It wasn't another man nor was it a homosexual love but I experienced intense feelings of love for this person unlike any I had ever felt before. It wasn't the same as the love I had felt for my husband but it was just as intense and it scared the crap (pardon me) out of me at the time.

You see, I grew up in an alcoholic household and one of the myths I had been taught was that you can only love your immediate family and if you strayed outside of that boundary then you were in dangerous territory. I remember it was so bad that when I did fall in love with my husband an attempt was made to guilt me out of the relationship and that scarred me for many years and affected my relationship with the parent that tried to keep me from marrying him. I have always claimed that I could have brought home Jesus Christ Himself and He would have been rejected.
But I digress.....

Obviously I ignored the attempt to prevent me from marrying the man I loved but not without emotional fallout. And so later when I entered into an adult friendship unlike any I had ever experienced I was overwhelmed with my emotions and felt as if I was actually cheating on my husband even though in truth--I wasn't. I reverted to my old "stinkin thinkin" and told mysef I was wrong to feeling this way about a friend. I had never loved a friend before--I didn't know what that meant but once I became an independent adult with adult freedom to choose whom I wanted to interact with then the flood gates opened and I was swept along. What was normal for many others was strange and scary to me.

So I went to my spiritual director at the time who happend to be my first principal I taught under and a Catholic nun. I confessed my feelings to her and expected that she would admonish me about loving another and that she would sort of slap my wrist and tell me to get a grip. Well she did tell me to get a grip but not in the way I expected and the session I spent with her that day as we talked this over was one of those watershed moments of my life. She explained to me that in my lifetime I will fall in love with many people--men and women that I encounter as I journey on. Some will be close to me physically and some will be from a distance. Some will be able to respond and enter into the dance of a relationship while others would not. But no matter what, the feelings of love I would feel would be good and normal.

As she explained it to me those walls that my alcoholic, toxic and boundary making background had established came tumbling down and it felt like I was released from a prison I didn't even know I had been in. Of course she told me to be careful and prayerful about relationships but not to be afraid of expressing love and feeling love. And that in my life I would fall in love many times.
To hear this from a nun--a celibate woman-- was astounding.

And so I gained a deeper understanding about love and have indeed found myself falling in love with various beings as I have journeyed on. Not everyone can understand how I can love a story character as intensely as I do--meaning Frodo. He is just one of the ones I have encountered. The love I feel for him is as swift as a river flowing love; as intense as I feel for my husband and yet as different too. And Frodo is just one of a line of 'beings' I have loved over the years--he just happens to reside in the pages of a book.

As I approach my fiftieth year I reflect on those times I have fallen in love and rejoice at what I have gained from each experience and each one. I won't make a laundry list of all of them but I am indeed grateful for the love I developed with the friend that sparked the whole thing for me and of course for that amazing celibate woman who taught me more about the true nature of love than any other I have encountered.

So for anyone who happens to stumble upon this rambling discourse and never has been led down the wrong path of understanding as I was this might seem incredibly simplistic. Love is love-- plain and simple. I am so glad I learned that when I needed to most of all.

The Rose

Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
And you its only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who can not seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
That you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies a seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose.

March 25, 2003 (Essay #2)

March 25, 2003

These days it's hard to listen to and watch what is happening in the world we know. War, fear and anxiety surround us and it is difficult at times not to give in to despair. Our world is in shock. These things we see and hear should not be happening but they are. They do happen. It is the way of the world--the primary world we live in.

But there is another world we can go to. It is the Secondary World created by master storytellers. It's a place of respite, a sub-creation where you can enter and, for a short time, forget about the primary world. A wise man once wrote: "Inside the Secondary World what the storyteller relates is 'true': it accords with the laws of the world. You therefore believe it, while you are, as it were, inside." J. R. Tolkien

So many have found this secondary world sub-created by J. R. R. Tolkien in words and by Peter Jackson and company in visual form. In this secondary world there is also war, despair, death and destruction for it is the way of that world also. But there we also find beings that enchant us, enthall us, romance our hearts, delight our souls and refresh our spirits. And when we choose to return to our world, our perspective is once again readjusted and we understand the way of our world perhaps a bit clearer.

For me there is one residing in that secondary world who is the comforter of my soul when despair and anxiety swirl around me. And his sub-creator, a young actor, manifests his beauty perfectly. There is no other visual for me of Frodo. And I wonder if his special sub-creator really comprehends his part in which he has opened the door for so many to step through and meet the one who knows despair and fear and yet is the bravest of brave. Truly a gift to the weary of heart.

Testimonies have been said and written about the effect Elijah Wood has on people as Frodo. It's really very simple. Serendiptiously he was chosen. And I believe it was just meant to be. Simple. And by sub-creating Frodo Baggins he too has been gifted. For there is no other who has allowed Frodo so deep into his being--to take on the essence of the beloved Hobbit. By agreeing to be his sub-creator Elijah journeyed to a place no one else could go. For that, I truly believe, this young man received a gift that will carry him through the highs and lows of his life in this world. Far to journey does his heart have yet to go but always through whatever the primary world presents to him, he will be able to draw from that which deeply resides in him--the Love of a Hobbit who took him on a journey to a world he will never forget.

We all face uncertainties whether we are young, old, rich and famous or just plain folk. But if we all tap into that place--that amazing sub-created secondary world inside a book or on the screen then just maybe we will all make it 'there and back again'.

"Man, Sub-creator, the refracted light
to many hues and endlessly combined
in living shapes that move from mind to mind
Though all the crannies of the world we filled
With Elves and Goblins, though we dared to build
Gods and their houses dark and light
And sowed the seeds of dragons--
'Twas our right'(used or misused)
That right has not decayed:
We make still by the law in which we we are made." J. R. R. Tolkien


To learn more about Tolkien's concepts of the Secondary World and sub-creation read his essay "On Fairy Stories" found in _The Tolkien Reader_.

In A World So Frightening (Essay #1)

This was the first essay I ever felt inspired to write about LOTR:

Three months and eight days after the events of September 11, 2001, Peter Jackson's production of "The Fellowship Of The Ring" opened in theaters nationwide. Even though J.R.R. Tolkien disliked allegory in relation to his story, I think he would agree that what happened in America and the world on that September day--the shock and grief--could be reflected in the eyes of his hero Frodo as he stands outside the Mines of Moria grieving over the loss of Gandalf--his mentor and friend.

Frodo was a carefree and happy Hobbit. In a life changing event he was given the responsibility to carry the One Ring to Mt. Doom and destroy it. It was a journey he did not take alone. One of the company in the Fellowship of Nine was Gandalf the Wizard, beloved by Frodo and his cousin Bilbo. In the Mines of Moria innocence was lost as Frodo watched Gandalf fall 'into shadow' and into supposed death. At that moment Frodo knew his life would never be the same. Now he knew grief in the uttermost depths of his soul.

Frodo's parents drowned when he was a young Hobbit. Tolkien never delved into Frodo's grief being orphaned but we learned he was cared for and eventually adopted by his cousin Bilbo. In the case of Gandalf though, it is clear that Frodo is stricken with grief. The movie reflects this in a poignant manner. The actor Elijah Wood, who portrays Frodo, masterfully shows us a Frodo whose face has become drawn and sad--lost and alone. No longer the carefree, happy Hobbit, this is a new creature--sadder but wiser.

I remember what I was doing the morning of September 11, 2001. I was reading to my class of first graders. Then a message delivered by hand was given to me simply relating that a major terrorist attack had taken place in New York City and not to turn on the classroom TV in order to protect the children from the images. But during lunch while the children were gone from the room, we turned on the TV and I saw those terrible scenes I shall never forget of jetliners slamming into those two beautiful buildings. I remember feeling physically sick. The remainder of the school day was a blur to me and the days that followed were mind-numbing as the images were repeated and fears of more attacks were on our minds. It felt like something deep inside of me was gone forever. No longer did I feel safe in my country. No longer could one take for granted the freedoms we have been blessed with. Images of people falling from those buildings to their deaths, images of the streets below, images of the wreckage at the Pentagon, images of funerals, images of candle-light vigils, images of a country pulling together in a shared grief filled my soul. Nothing would ever be the same again.

Then on December 19, 2001 I was introduced to the world of Middle-earth. Not being familiar with the story of The Lord of the Rings I was one of those who, at the end wanted to yell, "What was that?! The wizard died, that Boromir guy died, those Hobbits were hauled away by Orcs, they all are split up and I just sat here for three hours and this is how it ends?" I also remember experiencing a familiar feeling in my stomach as I watched Gandalf fall as it reminded me of the shock I had felt back in September.

But the story blessed me and gave me solace. Somehow things have to go on. Hobbits have to keep the quest alive and journey on even into darkness and danger. But not alone. We Americans have to pick ourselves up too and go on. We have seen Mordor in the rubble of the Twin Towers, the Pentagon and a farm field of Pennsylvania. We have no ring to throw into any of it but we know that we can persevere and work together to rebuild.

No--nothing will ever be the same for us Americans. We too are sadder and wiser now. What happened on that blue as the Hobbit Frodo's beautiful eyes September sky morning will forever be with us. But we need Peter Jackson's movie right now. We need Tolkien's story right now. Perhaps some sort of divine hand was at work in the timing of the release of this movie. The story Tolkien wrote gives us hope that with the help of friendship and loyalty things can get better.

In a world so frightening we need the beautiful Hobbit Frodo and his story.

Explanation

I recently discovered that a site where several of my essays have been published has shut down. In order to 'preserve' the essays in cyber print the next several entries will be those essays reprinted here.